not-this-not-that asked: Hi Lazy Yogi! I have a question about falling in love. I know falling in love is transient and dependent on impermanent things or situations. However, being a teenager, I find myself falling in love or having a crush on people all the time. I have never been in a proper relationship and desiring for a relationship is causing suffering for me. How do I overcome this need for someone else and realise that I am whole by myself. Namaste. Thank you very much.

Falling in love is the opposite of transience. It is the gateway to eternity. But it is important to remember that the things for which we fall in love, be they people or phenomena of life, are impermanent. 

A true love story is one in which lovers surrender not to each other but to the existential love that gives birth to all things, and allow themselves to be annihilated by that love. 

As a teenager, it is totally normal to find yourself crushing on plenty of people. And longing does come with a certain kind of mild anguish or suffering.

That is okay, so long as you do not perceive yourself to be lacking another half. Otherwise the experience becomes quite overwhelming at times. I’m sure the teenage hormones don’t make it much easier on the mind. 

If you knew what wholeness really was, your own wholeness would be self-evident to you. You do not need to discover your own wholeness but rather the reality of what wholeness means. Then you will see for yourself that you are whole. 

My advice for that usually consists of daily meditation and any number of insightful books. You may enjoy Tantra: The Supreme Understanding by Osho or The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. 

The dualistic notion of love can often leave us feeling divided, unwhole. When you see the source of love as something external, for example as a crush, then you are immediately creating a schism in you that does not exist. Love is your very nature and if you seek for it outside yourself, you will inevitably experience pain. 

That need not stop you from finding a wonderful relationship but rather it changes what you look for. More often than not, our taste in romantic partners reflects our own short-comings or hangups. This is because we seek a sense of completion from another person. 

When your understanding of love becomes non-dual, you are no longer at the mercy of external circumstances. To say love is non-dual means that it is not a product of duality, or two phenomena coming together to create love. Rather, love is a quality within all things. 

The same way that a quality of water is wetness, so too a quality of Existence is Love. It is innate and by becoming aware of your own existence, love will radiate from within. 

That love radiates the way the sun shines, falling on everything that comes in its path. 

“Never let your love stop anywhere.” ~ Osho

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi

Namaste :) Much love

11 months ago
  1. holidaymermaid2 said: Honey, you just did. Everybody gets crushes~ crushes are innocent and fun. But you mentioned you were a teenager. Go out with friends. Build a solid women base that will last a lifetime. Because men won’t. They just won’t and crying isn’t fun. Live!❤
  2. apacherosepeacock11 said: Could you please make this one rebloggable? Namaste!