arasx said: i am constantly struggling between either wanting to "go with the flow" in my relationship (and not worry about whether we're "in love," if we're "serious" or whatever), or seriously freaking out about feeling like i like my boyfriend more than he likes me. how do i make this stop? trying to go with the flow is more a conscious drive i have, but this fear and questioning is unconscious and bubbles up whenever i'm not with him.

To be honest, I don’t know if I believe in being ‘in love’. So many cracks in a relationship are caused by the pressures of evaluating what that even means. I think what really matters is simply to be loving. 

It is good to go with the flow but the ride isn’t always so smooth so don’t be too hard on yourself about it. 

If he is your boyfriend, then he likes you. How “much” he likes you has less to do with you and more to do with him. To give a sweeping and not very shocking generalization, men are less in touch with their feelings. Often it takes a form of heartbreak for a man to really know what his heart feels like. Or so it went for me, at least. 

But time, fun, and love will melt any heart. Don’t let your abundance of positive feelings become a source of negativity just because it doesn’t appear to be reciprocated in the same magnitude. It’s impossible to measure such things and it is always much better to love than to be loved.

Insecurity needs to be loved but to Love is the whole point of being Alive. Love anything, really. 

The ego loves to perpetuate insecurity and fear because it keeps you in a state of submission. It keeps you dancing to the ego’s tunes. 

No mind, no problem. These thoughts don’t exist when you’re around your boyfriend and therefore neither do these problems. 

Meditation and Mindfulness are the recommended ways of emerging from compulsive thinking. I would also highly recommend The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. He gives good relationship advice too. 

Namaste, sister. :) much love

2 years ago
  1. arasx said: thank you, your words always bring me peace <3
  2. nitya-ananda said: Beautifully said my love
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